Same Book, Different Venue

Hello every body,
I have something for sale at Amazon.com!!! After a ton of mistakes and lost links, My Sketch/poetry book Sometimes I Rhyme, is finally available in the amazon. So if you've got some spare time, and some spare money buy one. Do you have friends? Buy one for them too. It's almost a hundred pages of Rhyming Curtis-isms with some kind of positive message...and that message stems from my fear of being randomly jumped in the streets.

Lets stop my fear of random beatings, by purchasing this book. Collectively say to the world "Hey?, I don't even know you, so don't hit me and take my shoes please". I'm not sure how a book will accomplish this, but it's got a turtle on the cover. That's pretty calming.


“Sometimes I Rhyme” was a wonderful surprise and a fantastic gift. From the rhyming stories about a jungle gym with an appetite, to breasts, shortcut keys for Adobe Flash, and even Jesus vs Buddha, this book of absurd and awesome poems should probably be on your list of neat gifts to give people who appreciate neat gifts. I’ve already decided that I’ll be picking it up for someone who I previously couldn’t think of anything to get.

-Jordan Roherty

Here's a poem that's not in this book, but will eventually be in volume 2, give or take a few revisions. It'll give you an idea of the adventures that Jesus gets up to in Book One

Jesus and The Devil

This is it, Jesus said

It’s the final straw

I’m sick and tired

Of this eternal draw

Then he spun like a drill

Through every rock level

And after the magma

He met with the Devil

What’s up little guy

The Devil said with a grin

I appreciate a call

Before people drop in

Don’t you quote scripture to me!

Jesus said with a yell

I’m shutting you down

And I’m cleaning up hell

Jesus says what now

The Devil perplexed

I haven’t seen you since Easter

This is what’s next?

This ends here today

Our big final fight

Jesus spat on the ground

Now say good night

Here he goes again

A new fight every week

I thought he was the Lamb

All gentle and meek

Anyway, He punched Satan

And The Devil Replied

He round-housed ol’ Jesus

And blacked out his eye

Jesus broke some bread

And ate it up quick

Just like spinach, it had

A quick energy kick

He socked the Devil

With a left and a right

Satan dropped through a wall

It really was goodnight

But behind the wall

Sat his dad, and some buddies

Playing some cards

And betting with Smarties

Hey now what’s this?

Dad this isn’t funny

Are you in there too

My friend Easter Bunny?

Son I can explain

It’s been like this for years

Then they all ran

With a handful of beers

Turns out they were lame

And not even mean

Just a couple nerds

Just all-powerful teens

Jesus stole a beer and left